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Dada is Not a Tyrannosaurus

Little Man has this terribly annoying habit. If I tell him to go anywhere (go to the couch, go to the potty, go to your room, get out of the cat's litter box, etc.), he freezes. I call it his "Play Dead" routine. Once frozen, he doesn't move. Doesn't make a sound. And doesn't respond in any way to bribery, threats, or cajoling. Offering snacks, treats, or juice does absolutely nothing at this point! Zero reactions. Stating a consequence and counting 5 does nothing. He is a tiny statue, barely breathing. His eyes don't even twitch, remaining fixed on whatever point they rested when I asked him to move himself.

I wonder, does he think I am a T-Rex? That my vision (and memory) is based on whether he is moving or not? Perhaps that was a strategy that worked for him while he was in day care? Maybe Miss Tanya was part Tyrannosaur and didn't notice him frozen in a corner as she herded the other tiny mammals in his former day care class to and from different activities. Maybe the trick sometimes gave him a few extra moments to play outside before she noticed his absence. Anything is possible.

I may never know what goes on in his mind. But I know for certain what happens when his ruse fails. As soon as I make contact with his body in any way to direct, lift, or otherwise cause him to move, his knees buckle, his mouth opens, and he releases a screeching wail that would make a Velociraptor envious! My vision may not be saurian in any way, but I sometimes wonder if some part of Little Man's genome wasn't genetically engineered by scientists from Jurassic Park.

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