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You Know What's Really Gross?

"You know what's really gross?"

When asked by a nine-year-old, this question could be going in many different directions. In the case of my Kit Kat, it could be going literally anywhere. Because her mind plays with words and ideas in a way that sometimes makes mine boggle.

It could be the setup for a joke. Generally, her jokes that start with these kinds of statements are pretty terrible, but every now and then she'll pull off one that's so brilliant that it keeps her going through all of the terrible jokes to follow.  It could also be a pun, possibly a play on the word "gross." I'm not sure if she knows that a "gross" is a unit of measurement, from the Germanic word for "large, great." It could be a combination of those two: "You know what's really gross? 144 dead mice in a microwave." Ugh. That would be gross.

But then, it's just as likely to be the opening to a conversation about something she's seen on YouTube. She watches a lot of YouTube videos where people make slimey, gooey glop or eat very strange things. It's possible that she's about to tell me about Logan Paul eating pig snot as a part of some new and disgusting viral challenge.

At any rate, my answer needs to be measured and cautious.

"You know what's really gross?"

"Ummm... I know a lot of things that are really gross. Which one are you thinking about?"

"Cat puke."

"Okay, yeah. That's gross. Why do you bring it up?"

"Because the cat just barfed on the tile, and I am not cleaning it up."

Ah. I guess I should have seen that one coming!

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